Mushroom Kingdom - Toad Town
Cheerful mushroom-shaped houses make up Toad Town, the capital of the
Mushroom Kingdom and the largest city in the area. Hundreds of Mushroom
People live here, living their lives in the relative bliss that exists
between attacks by Bowser and the Koopa. Goombas, peaceful Koopa, and
even Shyguys can all be found here, as well, and they manage to live
together in some form of harmony, though unusual events are commonplace
here. Pipes lead to the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom, and in the back
of the town, Princess Peach's castle rises majestically.
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "Let him have his fun."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "It's irritating, and I have to monitor that in case they accidentally say something on things we'd like to know about."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "Well, you can punch him until information falls out like candy."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Oooooo, the Toadies are having a bake sale. How generous of them! Gwahaha!"
<Fac-EVIL> Doctor Robotnik says, "Your appetite as always is bigger then you, Bowser."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "Would you bring back a brownie?"
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "My EVERYTHING is always bigger than me! ..I ... think."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "..."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark groans, and facepalms.
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "If I get full and there's something left I might drop it back off in the Fortress, sure."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "Just leave it by the coffee."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "Oh, yes, is it possible you could acquire a Starman? I realize its value, and I am willing to compensate you with a magical item enchanted to your specifications."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Uhhh... I don't think they're selling Starmen at the bake sale, but I'll check."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "I make no assumptions when it comes to your zone."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "And that phenomenon you're seeing there with Chester is what's known as a 'sassy neutral.'"
It's a beautiful evening in Toad Town. Not to mention a
beautiful scent coming from the town square. It seems there's a bake
sale going on today. Raising money for some sick kid's charities.
Generous little toadies.
Unfortunately they chose the wrong day. They should
have had the common sense not to have a bake sale a day Bowser had a
snack attack. So what's about to happen is ENTIRELY their own fault.
This is Bowser's reasoning, anyway.
One of the Koopa King's secret warp pipes opens up in
the middle of the square, and Bowser jumps out. "The Koopa King demands
food! And..." Bowser pauses and looks around. Hey, bake sale. Score.
"Wow! That was quick! Gwahaha!"
<Fac-EVIL> Doctor Robotnik mutters off radio,
"Red to blue, blue to green. A few adjustments here and soon
goodbye Sonic. If only he was here to use it on.", returns to the
radio, "Please be sure to send a few dozen cookies this way
Bowser. Need to restock a few things here."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser grumps "This is why you should never announce your snack raids."
<Fac-EVIL> Iggy Koopa says, "... d'they have any yoshi cookies?"
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "So I've heard."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "If you go and say you're off to steal food, people will take it as a snack run, natch."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "I like brownies and some people don't get chocolate."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "The whole eating thing never made much sense to me."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "Can you really trust what you're putting in your body? Do you know where it's been?"
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "You are a construct, you are not expected to understand."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "You use that term in a very offensive sense."
It is not often that Chester is seen outside of the
greater Videoland, at least not in his common garb. Wearing his white
uniform, he seems to be in the common marketplace, just looking over
some turnips with a rather careful eye. "So... You have any that DON'T
have faces on them?" Before the merchant can reply, Chester pauses as
he hears the loud and familar sounding voice of Bowser. "...Hold that
thought, I will be back as soon as I can." With that, he calmly makes
his way toward Bowser and the bake sale.
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "Replace the word
construct with simpleton and the sentence retains its meaning."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "Mmm."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "I applaud your astute observation."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "Thank you."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "..."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, slowly, as if explaining to a child, "We need to eat to live. We like living."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark suppresses laughter.
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "..."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "...I swear, the things I put up with for this organization..."
<Fac-EVIL> Dual tears off a hunk of fried chicken and eats it loudly.
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "...Wait, You were deliberately calling me an idiot!"
<Fac-EVIL> Dual says, "OH SNAP WE HAVE A WINNAR."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord sssip.
<Fac-EVIL> Iggy Koopa says, "... um. Now, I'm not saying this has anything to do with anything, but. Well, you know how much dad eats; he tried to raise us to eat anything, too. Wendy, she has that diet phase. Morton... ... you know what happened there. And Roy never did eat lunches - he spent the time stealing lunch money. Y'know. The rest of us, though - Ludwig, Larry, Lemmy, and me - we ate anything we could get our hands on. ... that help it make a little sense, Sigma?"
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "You /did/ wonder why we ate things. It isn't a hard concept."
<Fac-EVIL> Gades chuckles.
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "If we don't eat, we die. Don't you have some kind of fuel source?"
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "I understand the "consume or die" problem you face. I'm just suprised you haven't figured a way around it. It's not very secure."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "Well, people enjoy eating."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "Which makes no sense."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "...Some people enjoy eating a bit too much and that's how we get phenomena like King Hippo, granted. But generally it's hardly the most dangerous thing we "organic" people can do."
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "I do not require to eat. Yet, some delicious BBQ Hamburgers and hotwings makes an Sinistral's day complete."
Bowser has brought along an appropriate bag with him.
"Oooo, these look good. I'll take some of these, and these... ALL of
these... none of those, stupid carrot cakes..." In the process of
takign everything a few Toadies try to stop him, ineffectively.
"Outta my way, twerps!" He roars, slapping them aside.
"Let's see.... Oooo, Brownies with Super Mushrooms,
that twerp should try THEM, gwahah! Hmm..." Suffice to say he's taking
most everything in sight, and leaving nothing behind. No coins either.
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "I don't have to eat
either if I don't want to, but the last time I did it, my body
spontaneously tried to cannibalize itself after a month and a half. It
<Fac-EVIL> Xiriam says, "As you can tell, they enjoy eating. Why stop doing something you enjoy?"
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "If it's a security threat."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "Hah!"
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "I can't be poisoned, if that's what you are refering."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "I enjoy taunting X, but when his buster is pointed at my head, I tend to focus more on dodging."
<Fac-EVIL> Dual says, "Gades has consumed my hot sauce for a better part of two years."
<Fac-EVIL> Dual says, "He can't be poisoned."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "Boss Immunities For The Win."
<Fac-EVIL> Xiriam says, "Oh, you enjoy insulting X?"
<Fac-EVIL> Xiriam says, "I hadn't noticed."
"Excuse me, I don't think that is a very proper thing
to do there, Bowser."
Chester's voice is rather causal, as if he were speaking to a peer or a child, merely making sure that his gloves are on nice and snug. After all, it seems like this is likely going to be get ugly rather quickly. He doesn't make a motion toward his sword yet, though he has a glint in his eye that suggest he's ready for a fight. "Now... Are we going to be mature about this and settle the matter calmly, or we going to have be barbaric about this?"
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "It's not a security
threat if you aren't /stupid./ You can get...well, infected if you eat
stuff you find off of the ground."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "Like King Hippo."
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "Is King Hippo even capable of realising he's infected by something?"
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, ".."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "I think he's immune by virtue of lacking enough pain centers."
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "What I was thinking."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "This...one time, he had an intestinal infection. If it ever happens again, trust us, /you will know./"
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "...I see."
<Fac-EVIL> Doctor Robotnik says, "I believe I recall that time, ugh."
<Fac-EVIL> Agent 3D0 says, "I wish I didn't."
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "Or rather, I don't want to see."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "..."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "I still see it when I close my eyes on quiet nights."
"G'huh??" Bowser makes a confused noise, and turns
around to stop who it is that dares approach him. He's in the middle of
a cookie raid, after all, so it has to be someone either really brave,
or really stupid.
".....who the heck're you, creep?" The Koopa King asks,
looking Chester over. With an annoyed grunt he tosses his bag to the
ground for a moment, he takes a few steps forward to loom over the
warrior. "I dunno who you think you are, punk, but you're messing with
the wrong koopa. So just turn around and scram!"
<Fac-EVIL> Doctor Robotnik says, "No one does
Gades, its bad enough for it to happen once. We're just lucky it
hasn't happened again."
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "Are measures being taken to be sure it does not happens another time?"
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "They watched it. They can't un-watch it."
<Fac-EVIL> Dual holds back the gag reflex.
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "He's been forbidden from eating anything that grows on the walls. This includes wallmeat, but it's a necessary evil."
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "That does seem paradoxal. Warlock Lord, can you unwatch something?"
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "Not without assistance."
<Fac-EVIL> Doctor Robotnik says, "Good thing those instructions are beat into him every second."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "Something I learned in life..."
"Who I am?" Chester offers with a faint smirk. "Well,
to ask that would be a waste of my time and yours..." His hand slowly
slides to underneth his cloak as he speaks. "...So, let's just get past
off of that and get to the important part." With that, Chester draws a
handgun and fires a whole magazine at Bowser, speaking a little on his
radio as he does, as if the fight wasn't really too important.
Then again, Chester IS a jerk.
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "And then one time, I
swear Atma Weapon had a cold."
<Fac-EVIL> Rixaes says, "..something tells me I'm better off not knowing."
<Fac-EVIL> Doctor Robotnik says, "But its best to close this subject right now. Dinner is almost ready."
Chester strikes King
Bowser with his Being a Jerk = +2 on Surprise Attacks attack!
You have taken 15 damage.
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "Life is meant to be
savored and indulged in. Every sense can give you untold pleasures.
There's no point in denying yourself for petty reasons."
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "And now, as much this conversation is...charming, I have something to do. An incredibly complicated new sauce I've been working on. Highly explosive componments, you understand."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "As Travis says."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "Are you trying to keep up with Dual, Gades?"
<Fac-EVIL> Gades says, "Trying, yes. In fa--*WHAABOOOOOMCRSSSSH*"
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "Intriguing. I have never been one for spicy tastes, however."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "You just can't top Dual when it comes to hot sauce."
<Fac-EVIL> Gameshark says, "Poor Sniistral."
<Fac-EVIL> Agent 3D0 says, "I still won't trust uncooked meat found in treasure chests possibly older than the final boss of the damn game, no matter how tasty it
"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!" Bowser
says as the bullets shower him. Despite having a number of small dents
in the front of his shell he's none the worse for the wear.
If anything he seems much more angry than he was just a
few moments ago. "Grrrrrr... bad move punk!" Bowser roars, takign a
deep breath. Now, if you're familiar with Bowser, then you should tell
just what he's doing here. When a fire-breathing lizard takes a deep
breath it can only mean one thing.
Bowser exhales a wave of fire, point blank, in
Chester's direction. The warrior better hope he has quick feet.
King Bowser misses
Chester with his Point-Blank Immolation attack!
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "Thousand year old
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "That is something that we /don't eat/."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "Good."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "Actually, there is a certain recipe..."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "...and you people question /my/ intelligence..."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser roars "Who is this little punk that shot me?!"
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "What's he look like?"
The blond haired man doesn't move a muscle. Why is
that? Because instead of dodging the attack, he raises an open palm, a
circluar magical shield appearing about ten feet in diameter with all
sorts of runes and such on it. "Been awhile since I've done that...
Felt nice," Chester says, dropping the gun and drawing his sword. He
offers a simple slash toward Bowser's chest, seemingly rather confident
for the time being. Of course, considering Bowser's power, his tune
will likely change as soon as he gets hit.
Chester strikes King
Bowser with his Sword weak attack!
You have taken 10 damage.
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "He was just talking
on the interzone a moment ago!"
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "It's a /radio/, Bowser."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "Oh, him. Sassy neutral, don't know much else."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "Tell us how that's supposed to help us know what he looks like?"
<Fac-EVIL> Agent 3D0 says, "And people can recognise voices sometimes, Sigma."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser rumbles "He'll soon be a sassy, extra-crispy neutral then!"
<Fac-EVIL> Rixaes says, "Sassy neutral?"
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "That's it. I give up. I'm going to go listen to people who think I'm the best thing since sliced bread."
<Fac-EVIL> Sigma says, "<Background Mavericks> "Hail Sigma! Hail Sigma!""
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Insane Asylum's in downtown Sim City, Sig."
<Fac-EVIL> Agent 3D0 says, "A sassy neutral is someone who thinks he's better than both sides or believes to hold all the answers, usually ends up as a stain on the pavement."
"Hurngh?" Bowser grunts in surprise as Chester
effortlessly dispels his fire breath. "You.. you can't do that! That's
cheating! How dare you avoid my fire breath!" Unfortunately, in the
middle of his hissy fit, Chester strikes him again, this time with a
His shell isn't penetrated too greatly, but it hurts
nonetheless. "Grrrrr, swords AND guns? Pssh, lame. Pick one, you
poser!" Honestly, warriors these days.
Pulling a giant hammer out of nowhere Bowser slams it down at Chester. Or, HOPEFULLY at Chester.
King Bowser strikes
Chester with his I CRUSH YOU attack!
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "If you hear someone
badmouthing both the Palace and the Fortress, publically, he or she is
probably a Sassy Neutral. Or one of Laharl's gang, and they're just
The Hammer slams into Chester's right shoulder,
dislocating it with a painful crunch. Chester backs a way a bit too
late, hoping back about ten feet. Just letting the injuried arm lay
limp for now, Chester twirls his sword in his other hand. "I will be
nice enough to grant that at least one request and merely slice you
into pieces. If that is what you wish." With that, he just slashes the
air, which would normally be harmless, save as he does, he cuts arcs of
magical energy which fly toward Bowser, about three to five in all. "If
you didn't want to be pushed back, you shouldn't have pushed in the
first place," Chester offers in a calm tone, despite the pained look on
Chester strikes King
Bowser with his Magical Sword Cutting Time! attack!
You have taken 16 damage.
SLAM! The energy arc collides violently with the Koopa
King, throwing him back couple of yards. He lands on his feet though.
"Hrmph! Whattaya mean? You attacked me first, you freak!"
Hammer still in hand, Bowser charges at Chester again.
"You're not even a Toad, what do you even CARE?" He roars, swinging the
hammer again, this time horizontally, aimed at Chester's mid-section.
King Bowser strikes
Chester with his Fore! attack!
A couple of snaps can be heard, this time due to
fractured ribs. Chester goes flying back, hitting a wall and painfully
bouncing off of it onto his feet once more. Chester dashes forward,
covering the distance between himself and Bowser without touching the
ground. Once he gets close enough, he offers a trio of cuts toward
upper chest and neck region, hoping to decapitate Bowser or at least
get his neck which isn't nearly has armored as the rest of him.
"I defend the innocent, Bowser. And your hands are far too dirty to consider yourself anything but guilty," Chester replies, regardless if his attack hits or misses.
Chester strikes King
Bowser with his Leaping to Battle! attack!
You have taken 21 damage.
"Oh man, not another of you self-righteous nutjobs..."
As Chester leaps at him, Bowser's arm shoots up to block the strike. He
TRIES to do it with his gauntlet, but misses, the sword cutting deep
into his arm.. Stupid stupid stupid, he's a turtle, he should duck his
head INSIDE his shell to avoid these blows. Gaah!
"Listen, I got enough problems with Mario and the rest
of the Palace. Take my advice: You wanna play Mr. Justice, do it in
your own zone." Bowser loses the hammer for now, in favor of another
good ol' fire blast. This one a lot more concentrated and localized,
instead of a big, sloppy wave.
King Bowser strikes Chester with his Fireball attack!
Chester tries to move out of the way, but ends up getting roasted by the attack, most of his right side getting the abuse and his cloak now burned to a crisp for the most part. However, he still has his sword, and plans to fight on. "How about you stop causing trouble so people like me don't have to deal with simpletons like you?" With that reply made, Chester races for the Koopa King, trying to give a painful stab inbetween the front and back shell, hoping to get a good attack in from the side. At least that is Chester's hope.
Chester strikes King
Bowser with his Chester, Always One for the Stabbing attack!
You have taken 16 damage.
Ah, the side of the shell. Always a weak spot. Bowser roars in pain, before trying to shake Chester off. "Gaaah! Listen up!" He snarls, once he breaks free of the sword. "The Mushroom Kingdom is as good as MINE! So what harm is there in a king being paid tribute to by his followers? Hmm?" Or, soon-to-be-followers. And they weren't really paying tribute so much as having it taken from them. So.... it really isn't like that at all. But don't try telling Bowser that.
"Self-righteous jerks like you get on my last nerve!
Get lost!" Bowser suddenly ducks all four of his limbs, his tail, and
his head inside of his shell. The massive, spiked, shell then begins
spinning on its axis, before rocketing towards Chester. Took him ages
to perfect that trick without going in the wrong direction.
King Bowser strikes
Chester with his Koopa Kruiser attack!
With that, Chester is thrown like a rag doll, bouncing a few times down on the ground before he struggles to get to his feet. Koopa is much more powerful than he planned, but Chester doesn't plan to give in. Not when it comes to his ideals. "If there is one thins that I can't stand..." Chester begins as he forces his shoulder back into joint with a sickening snap, "...Are people that take things without any consideration of the innocent!"
That said, Chester dashes toward King Bowser, this time just cutting up a storm. He does this for about three seconds before giving a powerful spin and trying to kick Bowser right in the chest. Chester can be painful when he gets angry and if there is one thing that Chester has in spades, it's rage and hate.
Chester strikes King
Bowser with his Going All Out! smash attack!
You have taken 34 damage.
SWORD SWORD SWORD SWORD SWORD SWORD SWORD SWORD SWORD
Bowser is given one hell of a going over. Cheap shot,
Chester caught up just as he was coming out of his shell. That really
irks him. "Oh YEAH?" Bowser roars. "What about me? My poor stomach
hasn't had food in HOURS! You'd think these Toadies would be GLAD to
feed poor, hungry, me!" Honestly, what a jerk!
Bowser's had just about enough of this guy. With all of
his strength he slams both of his fists into the ground, sending a
shockwave in Chester's direction. At the warrior's feet a huge spire of
rock shoots straight up into the air. He had better move, or else he'll
be impaled in a painful way.
King Bowser strikes
Chester with his Crusher smash attack!
<InterZone Chatter> Chester coughs on some blood. "You Palace types better be grateful for this."
<InterZone Chatter> Young Link says, "Huh?"
<InterZone Chatter> HR1205 says, "They won't be!"
<InterZone Chatter> HR1205 says, "They'll just yell at you with stupid words like 'collateral damage' and 'excessive force' and 'civilian targets'."
<InterZone Chatter> Adol Christin says, "...Chester, are you alright?"
Chester is indeed impaled, his blood dripping down the
spire of rock. He takes some time to push himself off the stone, half
landing, half falling into his battle stance. He is rather pale at this
point, his body likely fighting off shock through will alone. Twirling
his sword about, Chester merely makes with the magical arcs again,
using his wounded arm to try and hold as much blood in as he can.
"You are a selfish excuse of a reptile! You have a Kingdom, yet you force your way to get things just because you aren't happy with what you have. You sicken me." Hopefully, this will be enough to take down the Koopa King. If not, it's more than likely that Chester himself will be in big trouble.
Chester strikes King Bowser
with his Rage of the Bish attack!
You have taken 16 damage.
<InterZone Chatter> Chester says, "Your defenses
at Toad Town was found... Lacking. I merely have proven that I put my
sword where my mouth is."
<InterZone Chatter> King Bowser says, "Chester? That's your name? I can't believe I'm wasting my time on some wiener named 'Chester'."
<InterZone Chatter> HR1205 says, "...Wouldn't that be painful?"
<InterZone Chatter> HR1205 says, "I mean, swords aren't made to be put in your mouth."
<InterZone Chatter> HR1205 says, "Unless yer a carnie."
<InterZone Chatter> HR1205 says, "Dirty, dirty carnies."
<InterZone Chatter> Chester says, "And I can't believe that I am wasting my time on an oversized turtle that thinks any woman with a shred of taste would have anything to do with him." Coughs. "Your point?"
<InterZone Chatter> King Bowser growls. "Alright punk, I WAS gonna let you go with just this light beating, but now you're askin' for it!"
<InterZone Chatter> Samus Aran says, "Boweser.. has anyone ever told you you're about as intimadating as a pomeranian?"
<InterZone Chatter> King Bowser says, "No, but Peach once said I was as cute as one!"
<InterZone Chatter> King Bowser says, "Or.. was that a dream?"
<InterZone Chatter> King Bowser says, "Whatever, same difference."
<InterZone Chatter> Samus Aran says, "Dream.. I can assure."
The magical arcs strike Bowser once more, but this time
they don't seem nearly as effective. Perhaps due to Bowser's increased
rage, and Chester's decreasing strength. Right now, Bowser's rage is
growing. He hates being sassed at, and he hates it more when the
sassing is being done by a self-righteous little punk.
"You're asking for it, don't go crying to me when
you're kissing the dirt!" Taking one more deep breath Bowser exhales a
series of fireballs into the sky. They then start raining down around
the whole area. Hopefully at least ONE of em will hit Chester.
King Bowser misses
Chester with his Fire Rain attack!
Chester knows that he is at the end of his rope, but he can't give up. Not when he has something to prove. To E.V.I.L. AND the Palace. He holds up his hand again, the magical shield taking the blows one after the other. After the attack is done, Chester just dashes above the ground like before, giving one powerful slash with his sword. If it hit Bowser's chest, the sword will likely shatter under the force. After all, it isn't a magical blade and Bowser is Tonka Tough. Still, the force of the samurai-ish slash is rather impressive, and perhaps even the pieces of flying sword might deal out some extra damage. To Bowser's words, Chester only has one thing to say.
"You'll never make me cry."
Chester misses King
Bowser with his Final Slash attack!
Chester charges at the Koopa King, it LOOKS like a sure
thing! However, at the last moment Bowser has a stroke of
uncharacteristic agility and accuracy, and smacks at Chester's sword,
deflecting it with his gauntlet. "You sure are persistant. Annoying
too. Personally, I've had about enough. You don't wanna cry?"
"Fine, I'll settle for slamming you into the side of
that Toad House over there." He replies, grimly, before spinning around
and swinging his large, spiked, tail at Chester.
King Bowser strikes
Chester with his Tail Spin attack!
Chester would try and dodge, but the force of the block
stunned Chester enough that he was a sitting duck while he was sent
flying. He slams his head into the house, blood flowing freely from his
forehead. A broken sword, and beaten and battered, the chances of
Chester winning this fight are low to non-existant. But he merely
slices the air once more, too weak to speak, just doing the only attack
left to him. While the arcs are much weaker, Chester's desperation
makes them a storm of them, hoping that the quanity will be able to
wear Bowser into submission or at least repel him for the day.
Chester strikes King
Bowser with his Desperation Move attack!
You have taken 15 damage.
Slam! Another arc nails the Koopa King, but by this
point Bowser is beaten to the point of anger. He's the type of fighter
who keeps going all out until he's finally defeated in a blaze of
glory. No going out in a whimper for him.
Still, he's clearly getting very tired of this, and he just wants his snacks! Pulling out a large Chain Chomp, he spins it over his head a few times. "You need to lie down, twerp. I don't kill people, but you're pushing it. So just..." He flings the Chomp at Chester. "Go to sleep!"
King Bowser strikes
Chester with his Chain Chomped attack!
Chester has been knocked out!
Thankfully for Chester, while he is hit in the head by
the ChompChomp, it hits him when its mouth is closed rather than when
it's open, ensuring that the Anti-Hero doesn't get his head beaten off
or something. Either way, the metal like creature is more than enough
though to send Chester to the ground. With his broken blade, he just
lays there, not really having anything more to say. Which is good
considering how often he talks and doesn't shut up.
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser bwargh! "You were right,
3D0. The sassy one DID become a stain on the ground!"
<Fac-EVIL> Agent 3D0 says, "That's what sassy neutrals do best."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "That's what we like to hear."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "-...Zoda, did you just laugh?"
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Zoda issssss attempting to replicate human vocal utteranccccessss in order to better communicate hissss will."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Wassss it sssatissssfactory?"
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "...sounded more like a breying donkey. It needs to be more... natural."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "More like: GWA HA HA HA HA!"
<InterZone Chatter> Chester doesn't say anything,
but there is a couple of seconds of angry ChompChomp on the air waves
before whatever pushed the 'talk' button stops.
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Elaborate."
<Fac-EVIL> Agent 3D0 says, "It almost sounded like the fonz. Keep trying."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "From what Zone hailsssss thisssss Fonz?"
What else can Bowser do in this situation, but laugh?
"Gwahahaha! Serves ya right! You don't mess with the KING OF THE
KOOPAS!" Bowser proclaims, despite the fact that his opponent is now
unconscious. That's not important. What IS important now are the
"Now then, where was I..." He says as he turns around, to see a bunch of Toads attempting to get away with the rest of the bake sale. "OH NO YA DON'T!" He roars, chasing after them, grabbing his back he dropped earlier in the process. "I'll take those, and those, and those, and those too! Gwahaha!"
"So much for the charity." One Toad moans. "Think we can get some spare coins out in the Frog Swamps?"
Once Bowser has had his fun chasing Toads around (which ends a lot sooner than he wanted to, given how injured he is), he tosses a potion on the ground and jumps down the pipe that appears. Thankfully he doesn't take EVERYTHING. He's left all the stuff that could be considered 'healthy', at least.
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "I think it's one
o'those Gamemaster world people."
<Fac-EVIL> Agent 3D0 says, "The real world."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Underssssstood. Zoda ssssshall undertake further exxxperimentation."
<InterZone Chatter> Faris says, "Hmm. That noise
<InterZone Chatter> King Bowser says, "Hey Palace! Come pick up the crumpled-up loser in the corner of Toad Town. He's the freak lying in a pool of his own blood near the ruined bake sale. Gwahahaha."
<InterZone Chatter> Faris says, "..ah."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Alright! Who wanted
cookies? Fighting that Chester loser made me lose my appetite. Or,
well, most of it."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "I wanted brownies."
<Fac-EVIL> Rixaes says, "Ooh! I'll take some."
<InterZone Chatter> Faris says, "..wait, did you
just pillage a bake sale?"
Chester lays there. Though there will be some rage
against the Koopa Kingdom for this, that's for sure. And if not as
Chester, perhaps as Mr. Bloody Scales. Either way, Chester lays there,
bloodied after his battle with Bowser. Chester would likely have some
quip about this situation, but right now, he's kinda beaten and bloody.
King Bowser escapes
into a warp zone.
Fortress of Evil -
The adopted home of the evil Gamemasters, the common room of the Fortress looks like a frathouse: a total mess. A giant TV rests against the wall, and the floor is strewn with garbage. Broken equipments fills closets and shelves, and the walls are lined with posters for dozens of different things. Violence can be common here, too, fights breaking out between the villians of countless games, not to mention the Gamemasters themselves.
<Fac-EVIL> Xiriam says, "You can give them my
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "So, King Bowser. I can assume your excursion went in a satisfactory manner?"
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "I got free snacks and got to beat up a sassy neutral."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "And the Starman?"
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Well.. there were Starman-SHAPED cookies."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "Ah. Pity." He actually sounds like he means it.
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "I will have to attempt to gather some later. The effects are not instantaneous on physical contact, yes?"
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Actually, yeah. You might want to use a butterfly net, or tongs, or something."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "Ah."
The common room! Tonight it's not so common. A bag of
cookies rests on one of the table, with most of its contents laid on
top of it. Cookies, candies, and (super mushroom) brownies.
Bowser is relaxing on the couch, stuffing his face with his share. He looks pretty beaten up, though, with numerous dents in his shell, and his left arm appears pretty bloody. But who cares? COOKIES.
Kivxi likes brownies and Xiriam is notoriously stingy at letting her get junk food. (She /is/ a kid; she's allowed some.) She wanders in, her usual half-irritated expression back to neutral with the prospect of something interesting.
Her nose still wrinkles as she sees the mess. "Why do you people keep this place looking like a pigsty?" she demands of Bowser as she picks herway over.
"Evil maids aren't cheap." The Koopa King replies, with
Mmm, more cookies. "Anyway, help yer'self. Best to take what you want before King Hippo wanders in here. Then we'll be lucky if even the TABLE is left." He says before stuffing his snout with some marshmallow/coconut cookies. Mm.
<Fac-EVIL> Shang Tsung says, "Hmm. Butterfly
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Hrm. Intriguing."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Zoda requiressss the ssssservicccessss of an expert in the arcane. Issss Valeth pressssent?"
<Fac-EVIL> Lezard Valeth emits a weak croaking noise, then clears his throat extensively.
<Fac-EVIL> Lezard Valeth says, "...ahem. Haven't had to speak in several months. Yes?"
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Zoda hassss uncovered a relic that issss emitting an energy unfamiliar to him. It may be of usssse againsssst Jonesssss. Your asssssisssstanccce would be....."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "....lesssss time-conssssuming."
Small objects on the ground push themselves out of
Kivxi's way as she walks through, leaving a clean trail behind her. She
doesn't pay much attention to where she puts her feet, because there
will be no mess there when she does.
"It wouldn't take much to clean this place, and you could sit down without fear." Not that Kivxi has any fear. She approaches the pile of food, lifting some up without use of her hands to examine them. Ones she wants to keep - a handful of cookies and a couple brownies - float to one side, while the rest drop back down onto the pile.
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "At any rate, Zoda
awaitssss you outsssside the ruin. It issss in the realm the humanssss
call the Congo."
"Hey, is that 'telly-kenny-sis?" Bowser asks. "I tried
to get Kamek to teach me that once. He said it wasn't suitable for my
great mind. Too bad, it looks handy."
But then again, why would he need to use his brain to float things for him when he can just grab em directly. Bowser prefers the direct approach over all, anyway."
<Fac-EVIL> Lezard Valeth says, "Ah, of
course! I haven't gotten out of the tower in a while, I suppose
it is about time. Standard fee?"
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Fee? What conssstitutessss the fee?"
<Fac-EVIL> Mother Brain says, "Usualy a princess point, or other measure of favor."
<Fac-EVIL> Xiriam says, "Kivxi has one. She might be able to make you a loan."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda grumbles. "Very well. Zoda ssssshall.....'owe you one,' assss they ssssay."
<Fac-EVIL> Lezard Valeth says, "A good old villain's agreement? Excellent, then."
Kivxi heads back to one of the chairs that looks mostly
clean, seating herself. The cookies and brownies float after her in a
small cloud. "Technically, it's gravity, but there's not much of a
difference as long as I keep track of which is going which direction,"
she says as she seats herself, picking a cookie out of the cluster and
taking a bite. Apparently it is good; she finishes it off.
"You are Bowser, yes? The lizard king? I've heard of you - mostly from records, of course. Nobody has said too much about you."
"Oh, gravity. Ok." Bowser thinks. He has never employed
gravity against Mario before. Perhaps he SHOULD do that sometime!
Yess.... there's a plan for the future alright. Bwahahah!
"What? They haven't? Pssh, people need to get their priorities straight! Aside from Mother Brain and the Gamemasters there's NO ONE here more important than ME!" As Bowser's ego will have people believe. "I'm one of the /founding members/ of this place. Cripes, people just don't respect that anymore, dang newbies."
Kivxi takes another cookie out of the smaller lineup,
then thinks twice and takes two. The next thing in line is one of the
brownies. "Well, I hadn't asked." She's spent most of her time reading
records, when did she have the time to ask? "I don't know very much
about the Gamemasters or anyone else yet, either," she adds, although
it is a bit more of a lie.
"These are really good. Where did they come from again?" Kivxi pokes at the half cookie in her hand, which crumbles just a little. "Toad...Town?"
Bowser grumbles a bit, only slightly appeased by her response. "Well, I'm the King of the Koopas! A big shot, a power player, notorious, infamous, dastardly!" Funny that he uses all those descriptive words while sitting on a couch eating cookies. Pay no mind to that. "Anyway, I've been around longer than pretty much everyone. Seniority matters 'round here." At least, he'd like to think so.
Then he nods. "Yeah, Mushroom Kingdom. Bright, happy place. Full of little mushroom men. They squeak funny when you throw em around. Heh heh."
Kivxi finishes crunching on a cookie and waves the
brownie forward, although she doesn't bite into it. "Oh, /them/." She
doesn't sound terribly impressed. "I don't like them. They're annoying.
Oh, I should have said. I'm Kivxi, one of the Gatekeepers." She expects
Bowser to know that, but it never hurts to remind people; he seems like
one of the people who'd forget. Then she takes a big bite out of the
There is a strange noise, although it probably isn't all that strange to Bowser.
Once it's done, there is approximately twice as much Kivxi sitting there, and she looks more than a little startled. Having been sitting in one of the smaller, narrow chairs (what does it matter to /her/?), when she stands up, the chair starts to come with her. "What in the /world/...?"
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "What in the /world/?
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Oh right, I forgot."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "The Toads like to make Super Mushroom Brownies."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Aaaaaaaaah. Zoda consssssumed one of thosssse fungi oncccce. The effect wasss.....impresssssive."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi sounds cold. "You could have /warned/ me."
<Fac-EVIL> Rixaes says, "..what happened, Kivxi?"
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "I avoid Super Mushrooms. Size does not much aid most of my magic."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "The short one's not so short anymore."
<Fac-EVIL> Doctor Robotnik says, "Just be glad the effects can wear off."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "Turn it off."
<Fac-EVIL> The Warlock Lord says, "Fire Flowers, however..."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Geez, you want it off? Tsk. It's easy enough, just injure yourself."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "...I'm not hitting myself, tell me how you actually turn it off."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Uhm... aside from waiting it out, that's it."
<Fac-EVIL> Mother Brain says, "The best way to handle a Super Mushroom is to rampage through downtown Roguesport. Especialy if you can breathe fire."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser laughs at that, for some reason.
"Yeah, they're a buncha pests, mostly. But aside from a
select few they don't tend to get in the way of my evil schemes, so I
try not to torment them TOO much." Bowser nods as Kivxi introduces
herself. "Yeah, I saw your introduction. The little cloaked girl...."
Then she eats the brownie. "Maybe not so short now..." He muses.
Bowser chuckles a bit. "Heh, sorry. I forgot. I sorta grabbed stuff in a hurry. But don't be so quick to dismiss its powers. Super Mushrooms can be handy, if used right."
<Fac-EVIL> Mother Brain ah. "Good times."
<Fac-EVIL> Rixaes says, "Well if you really want to get rid of it, /I/ could come over there and hit you."
Kivxi expression of surprise fades, replaced by cool
anger. She's not /that/ angry, but she hates being surprised like that,
and it shows. She takes a few steps and sits on a couch instead. The
cookies follow her, as does the uneaten brownie, while the half-eaten
one quivers for a moment before compressing to a small, dense lump.
That part gets thrown at a garbage.
"I'm more irritated with having it catch me by surprise," Kivxi grumbles. Her voice didn't change very much. "I can see how it could be. I'll be taking the other one with me - and any others you happen to have in the pile. Consider it payback for surprising me with it."
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "Doesn't it wear off
after a while, anyway?"
<Fac-EVIL> Captain X says, "Just sit tight and try not to knock too much furniture over."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "I'm sitting on a couch. I feel stupid. My legs are too long to put my feet flat and normally they don't even /touch/."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "You ssssshould be unharmed. Our couchessss are.....fortified."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Consider it an early look at your adult life then. Ahh, teenage awkwardness."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "I don't think I'll be eight feet tall when I grow up. Seven? I can't tell."
<Fac-EVIL> Xiriam says, "I doubt she'll be eight feet tall."
<Fac-EVIL> King Bowser says, "Well... a bit of an exaggeration, maybe. Bwahaha."
<Fac-EVIL> Rixaes snickers. "At least you're finally taller than Xiriam."
<Fac-EVIL> Doctor Robotnik says, "Just be glad it wasn't a Poison Mushroom or you would be experiencing the opposite effect."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "Oh, shut up."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "hrm. Isssss there a ssssstable form of containment for thessssse fungi? Releassssing an airdrop of thessssse....poisssssoned mussssshroomssss prior to combat would be....effective."
Bowser just laughs. He doesn't seem to mind that she's
taking the other brownies. It's not like Bowser doesn't already have a
plethora of regular Super Mushrooms in his castle. "Go ahead. You
probably need em more than the others. Gwahaha." Despite Kivxi's
increased size Bowser is still a bit bigger. But that's to be expected.
"Honestly, kid, you can't predict EVERYTHING. Life don't work that way, especially around here. Crud happens that you couldn't predict if you were an /Oracle/! Welcome to Videoland."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "Unless you get someone
size doesn't matter for."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Sssssize alwayssss mattersssss, young one."
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "I've noticed only large people say that."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "Zoda hassss likewissssse noticccced only ssssmall onessss disssspute it."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "But no matter. You are large now! Revel in your....temporary relevanccccce."
In fact, the bag /is/ emptying itself of brownies, as
is the pile of mixed candies. Apparently Kivxi can feel the difference
between objects at a distance, because she isn't looking...it's not
that far away, so her control is pretty good. They stack themselves in
a neat pile on the chair Kivxi had previously been sitting on.
"There's a difference," Kivxi explains, "between something surprising that can't be avoided or explained and something that can. This is a can. But - whatever. It's not that bad." Although ducking through doors, until it wears off, will be a new experience. "What do you do here, other than hide things in your food?"
<Fac-EVIL> Kivxi says, "...I said be quiet."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "And Zoda heard you. What of it?"
"You'll find that the 'can's mean little compared to
the 'want's. I COULD have told you, sure, but I didn't feel like it.
And that's all that matters in the world." The Bowser zen.
"And, what do I do? I control one of the most powerful armies allied to EVIL, the Koopa Troop! I have a firm grip on the skies of the Mushroom Kingdom, my air force is supreme!" Slightly less supreme since the Palace raided his shipyards awhile ago, but he'll recover! "Plus I'm an avid kidnapper. It's what I do best." Which is true. Bowser is incredibly good at kidnapping the Princess. He just can't KEEP her.
Advantage one of her new size: Kivxi feels less bad
about swiping some more cookies while she's feeling around over there.
She knows math. If you're twice as tall, twice as wide and twice as
deep, you weigh eight times as much. She doesn't take /that/ many,
"Oh, so you're a commander," Kivxi says after eating one (in one bite, even). She sounds calmer now, although that may just be from self-control - or she's trying to figure out how to get Bowser back. Or Zoda. Or both. "That's what Xiriam does. You might want to talk to her, in case people need to attack Hollow Bastion. I know Weismann is planning a base there."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda rumbles contentedly.
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "/Twelve./"
<Fac-EVIL> Rixaes says, "...twelve what?"
<Fac-EVIL> Mother Brain mm.
"Darn tootin'." Bowser says. "I'm one of the best, and
don't you forget it!" He'll never say it's any other way, that's for
When Kivxi brings up Hollow Bastion, Bowser actually thinks this over. "Hrm... that was that Heartless place, wasn't it?" He says the word Heartless like he's spitting it. "Freaks, they dared to kidnap Peach for their own goals. That's MY schtick, dammit." Grumble grumble, hate Heartless, grumble. "If that Weismann guy is plotting something, perhaps I should get in on it. I never DID get proper payback. Gwahaha."
<Fac-EVIL> Zoda says, "The ressst of you may
resssst at easssse now. Further deccccception will not be required. The
ssssorccceror isssss the lassst of thossse in EVIL whom the Mother
Brain hassss named."
Kivxi smiles, very faintly. Excellent. She stops
quickly, though. "No - well, yes. Heartless aren't much more than a
legend - or weren't, anyway. They were remnants from when the King was
sealed away, centuries ago. Perhaps millenia. I don't have my notes, or
I would tell you more - but the same accident that let us out, into
Videoland, seems to have let them back in."
Kivxi leans forward slightly, apparently out of habit when talking to just one person. "You have experience with Heartless too, then - just like everyone else here, I suppose. It's nothing we have records of, though...I wonder how long ago it was?"
<Fac-EVIL> Arthas Menethil says, "...Alright."
<Fac-EVIL> Gades clicks. Coughs. "Well. Well. I got what I wanted. That was an /explosion/ of flavour."
<Fac-EVIL> Doctor Robotnik says, "Thats quite literal with how you left the radio earlier."
"Uhhhhhhhhhh..." Bowser thinks. When WAS it? He's so
bad with dates. "Two and a half years ago, I think." He finally
concludes. He remembers the attack on Mushroom Castle /relatively/
well. As well as can be expected, his memory is always fuzzy when he
He then grumps, and shrugs. "I don't care about what they are or what they were, I just want em out of Videoland for good. This place ain't big enough for EVIL AND the Heartless."
"No - not where we're from." Kivxi shakes her head,
standing up again; she remembers to check to make sure she won't hit
her head, but there's still plenty of clearance. She paces as she
talks. It looks automatic. "The last Heartless was seen long before I
was born - I'm nine - and the King was sealed away far before that. It
would have been at least eight hundred years." She sounds, like many
scholars do, totally absorbed in what she's saying; she did say she was
a historian, after all.
"I agree, though. We need to get rid of them. They should not exist - the Gate is closed for a reason, to keep them out. The Palace probably wants them gone, too, but once the Keyforgers show up, they'll want to open the Gate..."
Bowser doesn't really look like he's taking ANY of this in. He just blinks vacently. He gets the gist of it, though. "Alright! Destroy the castle! That'll do, sure!" He
guesses. He'll let that Weismann guy handle the strategy, Bowser will just add to the fire power.
With that, Bowser stands from his seat. "Well then, good ta' know ya, Kivxi. I'm headin back to Koopa Castle for some re-koopa-ration. Enjoy being a temporary giant, and don't forget to duck. Gwahaha!"
Kivxi overestimated Bowser's intelligence again,
apparently. She stops pacing, hand upraised as if she was going to
lecture some more - and practically drops onto the couch. It creaks,
but it's used to putting up with King Hippo, so she's nothing, even
though she /is/ using her gravity powers.
"All right. Be safe. Radiant Guardians protect you," Kivxi says, apparently without thinking about it. "Talk to Weismann before you do anything - and Mother Brain. And don't worry. I'll duck."
Online Life is graciously hosted by RPGClassics.