Hollow Bastion - Castle Ruins
silent world devoid of life, the place Maleficent knew as the Hollow
Bastion stands empty, a stark reminder of failed ambition, once the
center of the Heartless attack on Videoland. Maleficent's imposing
castle stands empty and quiet, many of its sections ruined and falling
into disrepair, though the threat of Heartless still existing in this
quiet place looms large. Nearby, the foundations of an older castle
sit, ruined and neglected... for this was once the home of Ansem, the
man who threated to destroy all worlds. Beyond that, a town stands
amidst the ruined battlements of Maleficent's keep, distressingly empty
and choked with rubble.
Hollow Bastion, a place Eddexed has not seen in a long while. He looks around, a solemn look on his normally cheerful features. "Old home." He states as he turns around, a massive hammer held in one hand resting easily against his shoulder. He strides forward, "Not been here in long long time."
Link grins up at Eddexed, the Megaton Hammer resting on
a shoulder. "Paula and I have been practicing against Heartless out
here, just in case." the Hylian says with a nod. "It's so cool that you
use a hammer, too!"
Alas, Paula has no hammer. She's not unarmed though,
she has her frying pan out given how dangerous this place is. "Yeah.
With all those Heartless hanging around the castle I get the feeling
that we're going to have to end up fighting them all eventually.
...hopefully not all at once." she shudders. "...I'm sorry your home's
still pretty ruined, Eddexed. We've been working hard to fix it though!"
Bowser's not seen it at all! It's hardly fair. Whenever
a new place pops up that gets attention, Bowser can't help but be
curious. Especially if it's mysterious!
So today, Bowser is effectively sneaking around. In a black ninja gi. A very tight-fitting one. With many ripped holes on its back. So he doesn't look the least bit stealthy. He doesn't act stealthy either, as he knocks over many things in his attempt to sneak around. But he THINKS he's being cautious. And that's what's important, not reality.
"Use hammer! Make things." The great beast states and he gives Paula and Link a tooth grin, "Eddexed thank little ones. Have new home now until old home fixed!" He looks around again, "But Eddexed grow up here. From little Eddexed to Big Blacksmith! Make lots of things. One day Eddexed come back. Make more things." He nods assertively.
He looks around again and tilts his head. He blinks as Bowser sneaks. He's not the brightest crayon in the box though. "Shadow move funny here."
"Speaking of making things.." Link smiles a little, and
takes out a crystal. "..Paula and I found this here. We were hoping you
might know what it is, and maybe make something for Paula out of it.
She likes having mementos." Awww, cute's giving up the Lightning
Crystal for his girlfriend. So what if he has his own arsenal.
"..whoa," Link says quietly, looking towards the area
where Eddexed was looking. "..I don't think that's a shadow.." he
murmurs, scooting back towards Paula.
Paula grins back. "Oh, like Meis huh!" That explains the hammer. "And yeah, we found this thing here after killing one of the Heartless." Random drops isn't a new concept to Paula. "Maybe you...can..."
She trails off, staring at Bowser for a long moment. Then...
Face x Palm OTP!
"Eddexed! That's not normal, that's..that's Bowser! Bowser!" Paula points, "..what are you doing here?! Get out!"
As the other spot him, Bowser attempts to hide behind a pillar. A pillar far too thin to shield his massive form. But for the moment he THINKS he's hidden well enough.
"No no, I'm... er... NOT Bowser!" He calls out, trying
to obscure his voice. "And I'm certainly not trying to snoop around! In
fact... I'm not even here!"
He glances from around the pillar a couple of times,
then starts running towards a pile of rubble and dives behind it,
hoping they didn't see him.
He has a lot to learn about being a ninja.
Eddexed blinks again, " Shadow say it not Bowser." He blinks again, "Who Bowser?" Yes. Sometimes it helps being dumb. He shrugs. Well, this Bowser person thing isn't bothering them. Yet. So he's just going to ignore it. Instead, he inspects the lightning crystal. "Ooooh lightning crystal. Very rare. Eddexed make something pretty."
"..really? Cool!" Link says, "But I'll hold onto it for
now. King Bowser is a Fortress person. Really bad turtle looking thing!
But he's not like you!" Link chuckles for a moment. "GO AWAY BOWSER,
YOU DIDN'T PAY FOR A TOUR!"
Paula sighs and shakes her head, "You're not fooling
anyone! Get out here!" Reaching around in her bag she pulls out not the
crystal but a camera. "Bowser's a bad guy, Eddexed. He kidnaps
princesses and stuff."
There's no more movement from the other side of the
pile of rubble. However shortly after Link shouts at Bowser about not
paying for a tour, a gold coin is suddenly chucked in his direction,
and embeds itself in a wall (or piece of debris, whatever) next to Link
like a ninja star.
He probably directed one of his much more ninja-like
minions to do that.
From the other side of the rubble a chuckle is heard
"I'm so smart."
As the coin flies into a piece of debris, Eddexed
blinks again, " Bad turtle?" This causes the moutle to pause and think
carefully for a moment. "Bowser just pay Link." He looks back to where
the giant hunkering black mass is gathered. "Eddexed say okay if Bowser
promise no kidnap little ones!"
Link takes the coin, cause he's a looter. "..he's still
a bad guy. He keeps kidnapping Princess Peach, and he even tried
kidnapping Paula once!" the boy growls at Bowser. "Go back to your
"Actually." Paula holds up a finger, "...he really
didn't. He tried to kidnap Peach while I was at a tea party with her.
And threatened to eat me."
"I was hungry!" Bowser yells back in protest at Paula.
"Err, I mean..." He coughs, and starts speaking again in his false
voice. "The incredibly handsome King Bowser, who is not me, was
probably just hungry!"
"And there you have it, he says I paid, so I can go on
ahead! You're not the boss of this place!" And he's insinuating Eddexed
is? "Not like you could stop me anyway, gwahaha."
Wait. Hold on. Baaaaaack up a second here.
"Bowser almost eat Paula?" The turtle eyes narrow slightly as he looks
at the shadow. The outburst doesn't skip by him. "Shadow is Bowser.
Bowser almost eat Paula." Eddexed is starting to get well... a picture.
"Eddexed no like this Boswer person." He shifts his hammer down so that
the heavy end is resting on the ground while the other hand rests on
the bottom of the pole and announces loudly. "Eddexed can too stop
talking shadow thingy!"
"Yep, he did!" Link says with a frown. "I so owe you a
punch for that, too!" he yells across at Bowser.
"..it was a while ago though. COME OUT WHERE WE CAN GET
A GOOD LOOK AT YOU HERO WANTS A PICTURE OF YOU IN YOUR PYJAMAS!" Paula
shouts, waving her camera around. She doesn't seem to be taking Bowser
very seriously today for some reason.
Grumble grumble. This plan was going so WELL too! Who would have guessed they'd see right through his brilliant ninja disguise? This calls for plan B! A pity he only brought along two Micro Mushrooms. He'll use them to take care of the squirts, so he can handle the new guy undisturbed.
"You want a picture? Fine!" Leaping out from behind the
rocks, Bowser points downward at Link and Paula. Two Para-Troopas
(which must have followed him) fly down, and open a bag each, which
drops two very small, and blue, Mushrooms down at the kids.
Bowser then lands directly in front of Eddexed. "Fine!
You wanna play? I'll show you who the top turtle is!" Bowser rips off
his ninja costume at this point too. That thing is too tight.
Link starts to try to strike out, when suddenly he
finds himself ingesting a blue shroom. "What was..." And that's when
the 4 and a half foot tall Hylian becomes four and a half inches tall.
"..that!" comes the squeak.
Eddexed just watches Bowser hop out of nowhere. Another turtle. This should be fun. But since Bowser was the one who issued the challenge, Eddexed has absolutely no problems with fighting. He just grins widely as he readies his hammer, "Link and Paula step back. Eddexed fight bad turtle." He launches the first attack by lifting his hammer high above his head and bringing it down for a smash. Shell out!
"Woo!" Paula grins and lifts her camera. "Hold it..hold
it..." she hits the button and there's a brief flash.
Though once the flash has cleared, Paula is tiny. Luckily, her camera was shrunk with her. "...eep!"
"The two runts will be staying back no matter WHAT you
say! Gwaha!" Bowser chuckles, just as Eddexed connects with his hammer
to Bowser's (probably) much harder head. "OW! Hey! I wasn't done
gloating yet! You have to wait till I'm done to attack!" You wanna play
with hammers, Eddexed? Fine! Bowser's been hammering long before you!
The Koopa King takes out his own hammer and swings it at Eddexed in a
Eddexed grunts he moves to parry Bowser's hammer. The two mallet portions meet with a massively loud clang as Eddexed gets pushed several feet, feet gauging the ground. "Ow. Feet hurt. In fight, less gloat win more." He grunts and comes in again. Slow for an attack but fast for a giant turtle. He swings the hammer as if it was a bat, putting a good portion of his strength behind it in attempts to knock Bowser back.
Link, now Minish sized, tries to back up as the massive
footfalls shake the ground. "Come on, Paula!" he squeaks, trying to get
Eddexed's bat doesn't make contact, though, whiffing as Bowser leaps back a few paces. "More grammar less stupid!" Bowser mocks. Not that it was a particularly good insult.
Bowser relaxes his hammer-wielding arm for a moment.
"Ok, so you can swing a hammer, but can you do THIS?" Those familiar
with Bowser would know what he is up to. But the only two who are
familiar happen to be 4 inches tall right now. So Eddexed gets no
warning of Bowser's fiery fiery breath, ohnoes!
Also, vagrant sparks from the blaze likely fling down
in Link and Paula's direction. Run run, or you'll be well done!
Well done Bowser, well done. The flames come pouring
over Eddexed, who holds up his hammer to shield his face. When the
flames finally die off, Eddexed remains looking crispy around the shell
and comically covered in ash. He blinks a couple times and sakes
himself, the ash flying off. Most of his robe's been burned, but the
apron remains. He blinks again, " Bowser breath fire? Not fair!" He
teetters for a moment before rushing forward, "EDDEXED SMASH!" As the
name implies, the moutle is gonna try and bodyslam Bowser.
"THAT'S DIRTY POOL, BOWSER! DIRTY POOL! EDDEXED DOESN'T
NEED GRAMMAR TO KICK YOUR BU-whoah!"
Yelping, Paula takes off after Link, shaking a fist.
Bowser tries to hide into his shell in order to escape
the blow of the body slam, but can't quite move fast enough. D'oh.
"Oww.... y'know, you seem familiar somehow. Giant mallet... stubby
form... not too bright.... black cloak..."
"I GOT IT!" He says, finger-pointing at Eddexed. "I
know! You're one of those guys connected to this place! So you're
related to the Heartless, aren't you?" Seems Bowser's missed the train
on this one, thankfully. He's still oblivious to the nature of the
Nobodies. "Well... I'm gonna make you pay, cloaky! Just you wait, I'm
gonna help turn this place into rubble! Gwahahaha! Enjoy it while you
And saying that, Bowser... flees? He runs off and leaps
over a wall. You can only assume he has an escape route planned.
Online Life is graciously hosted by RPGClassics.